It always feels so cheap writing these damn profiles, like I'm trying to sell myself or something. Those of you who know me and come here don’t need to know any of this shit, and I don't know if I care enough about those who don’t know me to make the effort.
I guess I'll keep it simple just in case it does become relevant somehow.
Female, 35 years old, divorced. Avid gamer when I can find a GM, self proclaimed geek. A pacifist who occasionally feels the need to kick the shit out of someone or the desire to blow something up. Pagan leftist if I must be pigeonholed, but with views too eclectic and opposing to fit anywhere comfortably. Ambivalent sexuality, fluid personal style. Insecure with delusions of grandeur.
....there you go....
   

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I'm going to cheat here and run a long quote from one of my newest favorite books, AMERICAN GODS by Neil GaimanIt comes startlingly close to my own views. You can find my own rants in my entries and scattered around I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if their true or not. I can believe in Santa Clause and the Easter bunny and Marilyn Munro and Elvis. Listen-I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite and the world is run by secret banking cartels and visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkly lemurs and bad ones who mutilate our cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman will come back and kick everyone’s ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in Drive-In movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks but I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to sink into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one-day we will be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in The War Of The Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind’s destiny is in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that its aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there’s a cat in a box somewhere who’s alive and dead at the same time(although if they don’t ever open the box to find out it’ll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal God who cares about me and worries and oversees every single thing I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of casual chaos, background noise and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that someone who claims they know what’s going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, a babies right to live, that while all life is sacred there’s nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no-one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that it is a cruel joke, that its what happens when you’re alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.

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Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Just hang'n

I have some really cool friends. I spent last night catching up with Mikki and Sarah. Sitting in the basement work-room of Sarahs house as they cut out Hemp for making into festival bags and adding salt for the dye. Artsy creative stuff done by modern hippies while having great conversations. I've been invited to do the festival circuit with them if I ever have the time and am on the same continent. I can see myself going from FolkFest to FringeFest to South Country Fair (etc), and selling hemp while meeting the folkies and pretending its 1967. Both are still really active politically and working hard for the environment. I'm going to try to set up some sort of system where I can ship them large quantities of Hemp fabric from China. We have to try it, to see if it's cost effective at least. In the last two days I've been to Waterton National Park (one of the most beautiful places in the Rockies) and Head Smashed In Buffalo Jump. Yum! Pemmican and Bannok! I've been doing odds and ends trying to make sure that the piddly little things wrong with the bike don't turn into big things. (a never ending battle, as with any older vehicle.)I had some problems with the gas line, but it seems to be fixed now. There is a tapping noise when its cold that worries me...any ideas Clay or Chelsea?(68$ an hour labor cost, I knew I was in the wrong profession! definitely going to invest in a mechanics course when I get back.) Plans have had to change a little, I'm heading into the States a little sooner than I thought, and coming home at least a week before I leave so I can spend some time with Kat. We haven't had any time together at all really, due to travel sheduling.I'm still going to try to see Jake and Fern, but it all depends on how the road treats me and the bike. Trying to explain who my new friends are to my old friends has really made me appreciate the unique qualities of both sets...I'm pretty lucky.

Posted at 11:59 pm by tamaraleigh

Sarah
July 22, 2004   02:44 AM PDT
 
I was here ;)
Love you Tamara! It was groovy seeing you last night! I know what you mean when you say hanging out at the festivals pretending it's 1967!!! That is exactly what SCF was like...
Love you!
Sarah
 

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