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It always feels so cheap writing these damn profiles, like I'm trying to sell myself or something. Those of you who know me and come here don’t need to know any of this shit, and I don't know if I care enough about those who don’t know me to make the effort.
I guess I'll keep it simple just in case it does become relevant somehow.
Female, 35 years old, divorced. Avid gamer when I can find a GM, self proclaimed geek. A pacifist who occasionally feels the need to kick the shit out of someone or the desire to blow something up. Pagan leftist if I must be pigeonholed, but with views too eclectic and opposing to fit anywhere comfortably. Ambivalent sexuality, fluid personal style. Insecure with delusions of grandeur.
....there you go....
I'm going to cheat here and run a long quote from one of my newest favorite books, AMERICAN GODS by Neil GaimanIt comes startlingly close to my own views. You can find my own rants in my entries and scattered around
I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if their true or not. I can believe in Santa Clause and the Easter bunny and Marilyn Munro and Elvis. Listen-I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite and the world is run by secret banking cartels and visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkly lemurs and bad ones who mutilate our cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman will come back and kick everyone’s ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in Drive-In movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks but I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to sink into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one-day we will be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in The War Of The Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind’s destiny is in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that its aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there’s a cat in a box somewhere who’s alive and dead at the same time(although if they don’t ever open the box to find out it’ll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal God who cares about me and worries and oversees every single thing I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of casual chaos, background noise and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that someone who claims they know what’s going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, a babies right to live, that while all life is sacred there’s nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no-one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that it is a cruel joke, that its what happens when you’re alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.
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Tuesday, July 27, 2004
On the road again....
Camping in Banff and BC the last 4 days was great. I got a chance to
put some real miles on the bike and test myself a little as well.
Day one didn't start so great, as it was threatening rain and a little
chilly. You forget how much wind-chill becomes a factor when you are
on a bike. People riding in cars have no idea how 15 c can be cold
when the wind is whipping at you at about 100km an hour. We went up a
nice twisty road through the foothills from Lethbridge into Bragg
Creek then west into Banff. I was stupid enough to lose my new ring,
(the cool criss-cross one) at a gas station, it must have come off
when I took my motorcycle gloves off. We found a really nice
campground in Tunnel Mountain and set up the tent and had camp dinner.
Toured some of the tourist spots, saw the hot springs, the old Indian
trading post etc.I crashed pretty early, I was a little tired and
fresh air and exercise are still new to me. There was the most amazing
thunderstorm that night! The tent was snug and secure but the
lightning was so bright and the rain so fierce I had a few moments
concern. Have you ever seen lightning so bright that it leaves
everything imprinted in negative on your retinas? and thunder so loud
that it knocks the wind out of you? Very cool.
Up and breaking camp early the next day, then into BC and WhiteSwan
National Park where we went to the hot springs for awhile before
camping at Wasa Lake. Yay! mountain lake swimming, love that glacier
fed coolness. A really nice ride through the mountains on the
Crowsnest Pass. Stopping at historic sites like Frank Slide (where
the mountain came down like a tidal wave on a mining town,) Fort
Steele (too expensive) and enjoying the scenery all the way.
We could have made it back that evening, but we took a night at
another camp in Fort McLeod. Just swimming and relaxing and enjoying
being out.
I am starting to miss China a little... weird eh? I miss my friends
there, but I also miss having my own life. ( know that sounds odd,
but somehow here on vacation I feel kind of like I'm living on other
peoples whims, I see them when they can, arrange myself to others
schedules. I know thats the way it has to be but I don't feel as in
control as I did in Changchun.)
I leave for the States in a few days. I'll be going through Spokane
specifically to see Jake (if possible). It will be awesome to see him
again, and wish him well before he goes to New York. I also hope to
see Fernando at Reggae on the River in Garberville around the 8th,
hang with my brother and his kids for awhile before heading back up.
I don't know how often I'll be able to post, but I'll try.
I have some concerns about the bike, but I think the only thing I can
do is say to hell with it and just do it. If it breaks down, it breaks
down, and I'll just have to deal as it happens. (I have some concerns
about me as well, but if I break down, I break down and I'll just have
to deal as it happens.)
hopefully more soon
Tam
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